To Our Precious Parents,
Helping your children flourish through the tough teen years can be difficult. Even today I wish “I was as smart as I was when I was seventeen”! I am very fortunate to have two adorable daughters that are well grounded and guided by their faith. They have successfully made the transition to the early college years. I am blessed that both are doing extremely well socially, academically and in their relationship with God. But as we all know as parents, we just don’t seem to get it sometimes! Why can’t we understand that “everyone has a curfew that is later than mine” and “be real Dad, why do you want to talk to Megan’s Mom or Dad, just trust me they will be home with us tonight”. Being a good parent is not easy! You will never win a popularity contest. You will constantly be called too strict and your children will rarely (if ever) thank you; that is until they get a bit older. They start to realize that you always had their best interest at heart. That discipline was and is you showing your love and concern. And maybe someday, they will understand the sacrifices you made and make to help them be on the right path. I have the honor to teach and guide some of your children at Collide. I am blessed with the opportunity to help them in their journey to live out the mission of Jesus.
The Bible versus in Hebrews 12:10-11 says it well- Our fathers disciplines us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. All your efforts do pay off. God is with you and your children. My advice (and I am still learning everyday) is:
1. Show lots of Love. Applaud their accomplishments. This affection and praise can reinforce what is going well and help their sense of self worth.
2. Stay Connected- Interact as much as possible. Try to spend time with your children that goes beyond you giving them things to do. Schedule some fun activities or a nice Saturday breakfast were you can just connect. Ask them what is going on in their lives. Be accepting and not judging as much as possible. Listen to them with your heart. But you are always the parent!
3. Set a good example. Your children see what you do and the example you set sometimes may be their minimum of what they shoot for at this point in their lives. Show them your faith, service, commitment to the church and your relationship with God. Pray together at dinner… and yes have dinner together as much as possible!
4. Discipline with love. The right kind of discipline sets the guidelines and limits that they will expect from you. Control your emotions in the process. Explore more than the action, but also their intentions. Tough love is sometimes hard, but always the right thing to do… stay strong!
5. Be a teacher. Look for moments and ways to teach life’s lessons. Children learn best when situations are real. Proactively discuss what may of happened to someone else so your child doesn’t have to learn the hard way. Talk about drugs, peer pressure, sex and right choices. Let them know that the choices they are making now are for them and not for you. Read the Bible and SOAP together. We get to reinforce your position at our Collide Group.
In closing, always understand that none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes… sometimes we need to tell our children this and say we are sorry. They will respect you when you do. Don’t be too hard on yourself, but always strive to be the best Mom or Dad that you can be. Pray for God’s help and guidance and never be afraid to ask for help when you need it. This journey of life was never meant to be traveled alone.
I thank you for all you have done. I enjoy the special growing times with your children…..
God Bless Paul G.
